Difference between a good and a bad landing page.

Most landing pages describe the product. What it does, how it’s built, who made it. It’s all accurate, and the visitor still has to work out what any of it means for them. Most won’t bother.

Selling the outcome means you do that work for them. Lead with what’s different in their life or business once they’ve bought. The features come second, as the reason to believe it.

Order matters too. A page that sells the problem, outcome, product, proof, action. A visitor who doesn’t recognise their problem in the first few lines has no reason to read about your product.

I ran my sell-the-outcome skill on this site to see how well the page followed its own advice. Here’s what came back and what I changed.

The narrative map

The skill starts by putting every section into one of those five stages and giving it a verdict.

The skill's narrative map for this site. Hero, product stage: says what the studio does and who it's for, never names a problem or an outcome, and the CTA asks for a call before giving a reason. Selected work, proof: only naqty shows a result. Writing, no stage: doesn't help a founder decide to hire. About, product: has the real advantage but tells it as a bio. Let's talk, action: the only reason to act now sits below the CTA. Footer, no stage. Missing: no stage names the founder's problem or the outcome they want.

The last line is the one that matters. No section named the founder’s problem or the outcome they want. The page said what the studio does and stopped there.

The hero

Before:

The old hero. "building digital products with clarity and intent. independent studio working with founders, early-stage startups, and growing businesses who care about quality and speed." The link reads "discuss a project".

After:

The new hero. "from idea to launched product, without hiring a team. an independent studio that designs and builds it start to finish, for founders, early-stage startups, and growing businesses who care about quality and speed." The link reads "15 minutes with the person who'll build it".

The old headline described how I work. The new one names what a founder ends up with, a launched product, and what they get to skip, hiring a team. “Designs and builds it start to finish” moved to the second line, as the reason to believe it. The link used to ask you to discuss a project. Now it says what you get for clicking.

The section order

The map also showed the pitch was out of order. The writing section sat between the work and the about, and a post about an agent skill doesn’t help anyone decide to hire me. The about section had the real advantage, one person doing the whole thing, but it came after the work it should set up.

Before:

Section order before. Hero, Projects, Writings, About, Contact.

After:

Section order after. Hero, About, Projects, a commented-out Testimonial, Contact, Writings.

About moved up under the hero, so you know who’s building before you see the work. Writing went to the bottom, past the contact. There’s a testimonial slot between the work and the contact too, commented out for now.

Everything else

The smaller lines got the same treatment.

  • The contact link went from “book a 15-min intro call” to “find out in 15 minutes if we’re a fit”.
  • The naqty shot project went from “branding and development for a local ginger shot brand that helped attract large B2B clients” to “helped a local ginger shot brand win large B2B clients. branding and development.”
  • The availability line moved from under the email to above the call link, so the reason to act comes before the ask.

The result is live on the home page. If you want the same audit for your own page, the skill is one command to install.